tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451509587037762640.post6690678088895216667..comments2023-10-29T10:29:53.827-04:00Comments on Just For Today - Leveraging The Tools of Al-Anon: Loneliness versus AlonenessUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451509587037762640.post-87067732306595913232008-07-31T17:23:00.000-04:002008-07-31T17:23:00.000-04:00hmmmmthis blog entry reminds me of me. I am divor...hmmmm<BR/><BR/>this blog entry reminds me of me. I am divorcing my wife, an alcoholic addict. I have been questioned about why sometimes. There is no trust left. Far too much damage. No faith in her ability to STAY clean and dry. I suspect that underlying her compulsive disorders is a Borderline personality.<BR/><BR/>So, after coming out of the denial of the fact that I was married to an addict, I swiftly moved in to protect our lovely kids, 12 and 9. I am doing this 24/7 and I choose NOT to look for a personal companion at this time. It is not that I do not want to share my sould with a woman. I do. However, I must give my children full stability and I must give myself a chance to settle.<BR/><BR/>I am lonely but I am surrounded by the love of my children, my wonderful support group and the opportunity to really strengthen myself and for now I will accept this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451509587037762640.post-53873584790835778712008-07-29T22:26:00.000-04:002008-07-29T22:26:00.000-04:00I could really relate to your post. For me, the th...I could really relate to your post. For me, the thing about varying degrees of comfort in work/social situations is a very fine line to tread. Coworkers are not necessarily friends. They may be drinking with you tonight and deciding whether to give you a raise tomorrow. If I treated it like a social situation I ended up startling people. And if I treated it like a work situation then I showed up, talked to the boss about the weather for 5 minutes and did a French exit. Ugh.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, it is very lonely living with an active drinker. Days go by when we don't see each other or we do and I can't broach subjects of any importance because he's under the influence. So, again, the weather.<BR/><BR/>Up ‘til now I have resisted the urge to categorize him: Unfit to Be a Real Partner, or Unable to Provide Support, or Do Not Marry. These labels would help me. I could move on. I feel like a relationship where someone is holding back their honest feelings and looking elsewhere for support cannot achieve real depth. I also believe that alcoholics fight their problems, challenges and tough times with damaging and dangerous tools. <BR/><BR/>If I accept and love this guy him as he is (something I truly wish to do), I cannot have the expectation that he will be a partner in any meaningful sense. If I regard him as my troubled yet sometimes friendly roommate, we get along great.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451509587037762640.post-56913193457967584482008-07-29T11:49:00.000-04:002008-07-29T11:49:00.000-04:00"Aloneness" - I find that each and everyday I am b..."Aloneness" - I find that each and everyday I am becoming more comfortable with this, as syd mentioned, I always feel that God is where I am, and that he is there. It gives me the time in my day to simple focus on "me".<BR/><BR/>"Loneliness" - Sure, there are times when I am lonely. Many times I think back on those no longer with me, and this experience runs full circle, fears, tears, and all that surrounds that. Then, thinking of the good times, the tears subside, and I find light at the end of this tunnel. <BR/><BR/>I find a smile....<BR/><BR/>I am finding that regardless of how many "distractions" I load into my schedule to offset both, it is my challenge to cope with each the very best I can, and to find contentment in my life.<BR/><BR/>Peace this Tuesday.<BR/><BR/>KevinBAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451509587037762640.post-56235302576210896752008-07-28T15:13:00.000-04:002008-07-28T15:13:00.000-04:00I've always heard that we are never alone because ...I've always heard that we are never alone because our HP is with us. I can be lonely at times but have found that I experience that less and less now. But alone I'm not.Sydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05642843245634635843noreply@blogger.com