tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451509587037762640.post954396030259516184..comments2023-10-29T10:29:53.827-04:00Comments on Just For Today - Leveraging The Tools of Al-Anon: This Weekend - Al-Anon Meeting - Topics?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451509587037762640.post-34237263726640825722016-08-01T19:28:00.836-04:002016-08-01T19:28:00.836-04:00I did my first one on enabling. Been going for a y...I did my first one on enabling. Been going for a year and no one did that topic. One I have the most problem with as my child is the alcoholic. Was a very good and intense meeting with people really opening up. Now I need to come up with a topic for my second topic.Clean queenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06348291217911174801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451509587037762640.post-11587714969185596092008-02-21T21:04:00.000-05:002008-02-21T21:04:00.000-05:00OK Catherine. I think that will be an exciting top...OK Catherine. I think that will be an exciting topic next week. Thanks for volunteering<BR/><BR/>JoeJoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16995110086645670446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451509587037762640.post-47693820391447238642008-02-21T19:48:00.000-05:002008-02-21T19:48:00.000-05:00I like this topic! And I had another one to throw ...I like this topic! And I had another one to throw in there for future: $$$<BR/><BR/>I attended an excellent group and heard a variety of shares about how money and financial issues became tools for control, symptoms of illness, etc.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451509587037762640.post-32071256676685675632008-02-21T17:44:00.000-05:002008-02-21T17:44:00.000-05:00Great - Thanks Ashley.If there are any other topic...Great - Thanks Ashley.<BR/><BR/>If there are any other topics for the next few weeks, please don't hesitate to post<BR/><BR/>ThanksJoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16995110086645670446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451509587037762640.post-6435991413946658542008-02-21T17:03:00.000-05:002008-02-21T17:03:00.000-05:00Ah, you touched a place that is somewhat a sensiti...Ah, you touched a place that is somewhat a sensitive one for me.<BR/><BR/>I like to talk, I do it for a living. However, it doesn't mean it should be a tool of "control" for me. And honestly, it doesn't work as past responses result in whatever they think I need to hear to "shut me up".<BR/><BR/>I am working hard when I ask a question or make a comment, to simply say it once, then listen, absorb, then respond. It is an easy place for me to simply state my case, listen to only what I want to hear, and have a response already on my tongue before the person is finished communicating.<BR/><BR/>Being an out-going guy, it is a personality trait I need to learn how to control.<BR/><BR/>The other day, I stood in front of my mirror before jumping in the shower. Actually had a similar type conversation with myself in the mirror. The image mimicked the same words I did, over, and over, and over, again. The hand movements, all of it was exactly the same. <BR/><BR/>Wow. Is this really what I sound and look like when I am trying to control someone?<BR/><BR/>The mirror never lies.<BR/><BR/>And my work here is never done.<BR/><BR/>KevinBAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451509587037762640.post-19798349339035386672008-02-21T16:56:00.000-05:002008-02-21T16:56:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07940745178193985942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-451509587037762640.post-67101232560000447362008-02-21T15:50:00.000-05:002008-02-21T15:50:00.000-05:00Hi Joe, I had an incredible meeting on Tuesday nig...Hi Joe,<BR/> <BR/>I had an incredible meeting on Tuesday night - topic was "Focus on Ourselves" and I thought this could be a great topic for the weekend meeting. <BR/><BR/>One of the readings from Courage to Change jumped out at me.<BR/> <BR/>page 29<BR/> <BR/>"Many of us learn the value of self-expression in Al-Anon. We discover how we feel and benefit from giving voice to those feelings when it seems appropriate. But there's a difference between expressing ourselves and using words to control others.<BR/> <BR/>Sometimes the only way I can determine whether I'm trying to control someone else or whether I'm simply expressing my feelings is by noticing how many times I say the same thing. If I mention something that is on my mind and then let it go no matter what response I get, I am speaking sincerely. If I repeatedly make similar suggestions or ask prodding questions again and again, I am probably trying to control (emphasis mine). If I am satisfied only when the other person responds in a way I consider desirable -- agrees with what I've said or takes my advice -- then I know I've lost my focus."<BR/> <BR/>Today's Reminder<BR/> <BR/>"I am learning to be honest with myself. I will not use my recovery as an excuse to justify my efforst to change other people's thinking. Trying to control other people only gets me in trouble. Instead, I will promptly admit such mistakes and put my energy back where it belongs by focusing on myself."<BR/> <BR/>I ended up posting this on my blog yesterday because I really wanted to remember it. <BR/><BR/>I do this all the time. When my husband and I are arguing or even discussing things, I always think maybe if I just state it a different way, it will make sense to him. I never consider that I might be wrong, or even if I'm right, he may not agree with me. There are times that I feel like I've failed if I can't get him to see things my way. I think that I just didn't figure out the right combination of words to convince him I'm right.<BR/> <BR/>Obviously one of the many things I have to work on.<BR/> <BR/>Hope you're having a great day!<BR/>Ashley<BR/>http://www.backfromchaos.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com