Tuesday, November 27, 2007

My Relapses - Not My Spouse's (who Is the drinker)

Things are still an emotional roller coaster. I took the car keys 2 weeks ago. The boundary I set was "you cannot drink and drive." The consequences were; I took the car keys. I will tell you, the first day or two was hard. There were errands to run, things to do. Of course I felt guilty. But I set my foot down and we lived with the results.

The good news was I knew she was sober for a week. The down side: She probably resented it. No. "Probably" is not the right word. She did resent it.


Better than killing someone else in the process of killing herself.

Al-Anon says, "Let go and let God." Well, there has to be some intervening on our part. In my opinion, which of course is what the Blog is about.

Any way, here I am.

I gave her back the keys. I was not trying to punish or control. I wanted to have some peace of mind. And I wanted her to know the consequences and boundaries.

Let me know what you think.


Jen said...
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Anonymous said...

hmmm.... I struggle with letting her drink and drive.... I ended up calling the police on New Year's because she was going out the door with her keys. She and others were furious with me. So now, I'm the problem, not her. It feels icky. In the end I called the cops back and told them I was leaving and she was staying so we didn't need help. They didn't come though she was paranoid about it through the next day. I guess from now on, I'll let the natural consequences take their course. Its not my problem if she gets a dui or into an accident. I just hope no one gets hurt. But its HER choice. I don't know if this is the right way to handle this but that is what I'm doing right now.