Thursday, April 3, 2008

It Will Work Out or . . .

At Al-Anon meetings we keep the focus on ourselves, and not the alcoholic. This can be hard to do, especially when we are living with the disease and it is active. It is harder even still, when there are little children involved. This - I know - firsthand.

So, I hope I can provide you with strength, hope and courage - every morning and every day from my posts. Today I want to post a comment I picked up and wrote down from a recent meeting.

One wise man said, "When I was worried about something I had no control over, I called my sponsor. He listened to what I was worrying about and then said, 'Here's what will happen. One of two things will happen. It will either, work out . . . or, it will, work out.'"

Interesting. If we know things will just work out, that we have no control over some things and that, the God of our understanding, will oversee this for us, this can be freeing.

In Step 1 we learn and relearn - we are "powerless over alcohol" and that our lives have become "unmanageable." Once we know this one thing, once we have admitted and committed this one thing over to memory and not react or respond to everyone and everything, we can begin to see we need something greater than ourselves, to turn all this stuff over to. We can begin to see that there has to be a God (or a Higher Power if you prefer). That God, or our HP, doesn't care what we call him or her. That the God of our understanding is there - always there and doesn't get caught up in the petty words we chose to call him or her - i.e. whether we call him God or our HP. He just is.

This is new to me, this turning things over to God or our Higher Power. I am realizing for the first time, that I have carried too much, for too many people, for too long. I couldn't possibly be and do everything for everyone else. I used to think everything was my responsibility to solve. Now, I admit, I did draw the line when it came to politics, world hunger, and foreign affairs. But in matters surrounding work and family, I was there, ready to carry the whole ball of wax.

Whether we go to church or not, God is there. He is always there for us and waiting to help, if we ask and we just allow ourselves to ask for help.

He may not answer our call exactly as we want it to be and may not answer it in the time frame we desire, but it will be answered in the way it is supposed to be.

After all, either it will . . . work out or, it will . . . work out.


Syd said...

Joe,we don't have to take on responsibility for everyone, especially the alcoholic. That's why she has her own HP.

Anonymous said...

We dont have to but who will clean the house, cook for the family, make excuses, pay the bills, borrow to pay, keep the kids head high and so forth. Unless the alcoholic recognizes he/she needs her HP or needs to find thier HP and that help is needed, the burden lies on the non alcoholic. I have chosen to not take the burden and prayed my heart out and now he is in intensive care and we are in counseling twice a week. We found our HP.

Anonymous said...

I found myself crying quietly when I read this post. I'm beginning to learn to say, "No, it's up to you." When he says "it's up to you." Sue

Anonymous said...

When I think that I AM the one who has to take on responsibility for everything, then I AM being god - thinking that I AM the ONE. However, when I know that I am not God and then rely on Him to work everything out, I no longer am idolizing myself. When I fall back into that mode (taking responsibility for everything), my self-esteem takes a dive because I always come up short (fail) and inner peace goes out the door.

I still may choose to clean, cook, work and pay bills, but I am doing this out of who I am and not out of fear or a need to be the one to rescue. My spouse has then to face his own choices and perhaps MAY find God and himself but I won't (most of the time - I am still in the process!) do things just to make him better - I am working on making myself whole and can't fix him.


anita said...
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harada57 said...
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