Taking Responsibility

Responsibility - Al-Anon, Life, Work.

We have the right to choose to do anything we want to do. The key word is "anything" and I would add - "we want." This seems liberating when we read it. But how many of us - want someone to decide for us? We wait to hear what others want to do. We want others to tell us what they think first, so we can see which way the "wind is blowing."

Because, God forbid we are wrong in telling others what we want to do or worse - we make a decision, others are unhappy with!

But here are the facts. You have a life. I have a life. We need to be clear on what we want. Why are we not clear sometimes? I believe - because we have been told that our ideas and choice are not important, stupid, bad, wrong, selfish - you name it.

But guess what? What they think does not matter. But we have made it matter. And therefore we wait and we decide our choices are of little value to us.

We are allowed to make mistakes! Yes, some of our decisions have been - well - wrong. And some of our decisions have been - well - RIGHT!

Let's take responsibility back. We may have given away our "right" to decide and choose what is right for us. Let's take it back by sharing with people what we want to do. Now I am not saying sharing with people are intimate secrets - people with whom we don't know or cannot trust. What I am saying is our choices and wants matter.

But it is up to us to take responsibility and choose what we want to do - in all situations. ALL situations.

To become better and smarter about what it is we wish to do, we need to open ourselves up and learn to trust our judgement. We need to listen to that "still small voice within." We need to "trust our gut." We need to learn to be quiet and calm ourselves. Get out of the chaos - if there is chaos around us.

A great way to start listening to ourselves is to take that notebook and write out and describe the situation at hand. And list out what the outcome we want, the fears we are facing - and worst possible outcome.

I actually wrote - "I will die" - when I wrote about a big situation I was facing. But it was after about 6 major "if this happens, then this will occur." When I looked at it, I uncovered fears and unfounded fears, I was harboring unconsciously.

But I digress. The point is, the notebook, the uncovering, "If I do this, what will happen good?" and ". . . what will happen, bad?" is a powerful little free tool that you can put into use today. Problem is - it is free and no one will remind us to use it in a time of crisis. So write it in your notebook in the back - where you could/should have an index called "tools."

I am still digressing - and I know it!

I learned this from Robert Anthony. Here it is;

Keep in mind nothing is "good" or "bad" or "right" or "wrong." It is only "wise" or "unwise." He points out in his Total Self Confidence book, "as you move from 'unwise' to 'wise' actions, the importance of this terminology will become increasingly evident."

Here are some questions he suggests that you ask;

Is this a wise or unwise act?
Will it contribute to my basic needs?
Will it harm me or someone else?
Is it in harmony with the Laws of the Universe as I understand them?
What is the total price I must pay?
Am I willing and able to pay this price and accept the consequences?

PS - I am sorry I have not blogged in a while. I have been redoing my work life . . . Which has become a significant point of change. Some day I reveal what was at one point, I would have called a crisis, that turned into a blessing and I believe a gift from my Higher Power. It actually allowed me to SEE myself and force me to take a good look at why I was working so hard.

PPS - There are times when my ego says "I am recovered." This is the ego trying to trick me into a false hope. The truth is; I am in recovery. The trip and journey are miles and miles, and without a road map. I slip - a lot.

Good luck today and this weekend.