Saturday, March 28, 2009


I went to an Al-Anon meeting last night where the discussion was on resentment.

I heard some neat tidbits. Here's one;

"When I begin to feel a resentment, that's the moment where I began to feel like a victim."

Here's a few more;

"My resentments usually are when I am trying to get someone to do something other than what they are doing."

"I am trying to control reasonable responses or reactions of others."

Note the key word here is "reasonable." These responses of others (or reactions or actions) may be and probably all are, reasonable. Ya know why? Just because they are not what I might do or say, doesn't make them unreasonable.

The key one I heard was . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . "To give up resentment, try forgiveness."

I am going court next month. It is a trial by jury. Yes. In my state we have the option of trial by jury in divorce cases. I made several (a bunch, probably too many) attempts to settle, to mediate, and offer a last settlement. No answer. No counter offer.

So, I pray.

I resent the legal system. I wanted to share that I resent divorce lawyers. The truth always get skewed. And when dealing with an alcoholic and attorney who want MONEY, this is like setting your money on fire and trying to douse the flames with gasoline.

My child has also been impacted. She listens to every conversation my wife has had about me and obviously what is said not positive. I resent that too.

I am trying to let go and let God. I run to relieve the stress, but I hit a wall at about 20 minutes into the run, and I have to stop. No energy. No ZEST.

So, now, I turn this over to God with this post (And probably a few more between now and then).

And now I am going to . . . . . . . Forgive.


Syd said...

Joe, good stuff on resentment. I can tell when I have one cooking. And I have to look at what I'm doing, what the origin was, etc. I can do a resentment in a heart beat but recognizing it helps me to let go of them almost as fast.

Christina said...

Ive been thru the "divorcing a drunk and attorneys who could give a shit" ordeal, so I feel your pain. Very frustrating, but its th process thats required. Hang on close to God, and keep practicing forgiveness, its for YOUR good....not anyone elses. God bless.

AllisonRhodes said...

I separated from my mentally ill, dry alcoholic husband a few weeks ago. So far I've felt more peaceful, but he's in attack mode now. I will pray for God's perfect justice for you.

P.S. I had huge insights about resentments and forgiveness last night, too. It's like God entered all of us bloggers and gave us a huge injection of spirituality! Allison

Robin said...

My favorite line about resentment is that it is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die.

It doesn't keep me from having it, but it makes a little bit of sense here and there....

First time to your blog...good reading. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

resentment is a big one for me in my personal relationships - especially with my wife. I'm really struggling with it, and am searching for some good program tools to help me here. Any suggestions would be really good!