In our craziness, have we lost a certain "power" we once had? I believe one of our greatest gifts is the cultivation of our intuition. But in our chaos, we seem to have lost this gift. The noise that surrounds us is too loud to allow us to get a feeling, a sense or a gut feel of what else is going on, that perhaps we cannot see, feel, hear, smell or taste.
In "Hope for Today" there is a reading that talks about intuition. It goes onto say, "in your heart you already know." It talks about this feeling as a connection with your higher power. It is the voice in which our HP may speak to us.
In a book that I opened that I always carry with me, I turned to a page, this morning, and it says this, "In your heart, you already know exactly what you want. And if you listen to your intuition, it will tell you. Your mind will sell you out, but your intuition never will. Your intuition is your connection with the Ultimate Power. Learn to trust it."
Whatever our intuition is telling us is important. We need to quiet our minds and listen. I used to love getting in the car and just driving - anywhere! It gave me a chance to think. Now with cell phones, driving to get that quiet time is difficult to obtain.
If we can get back into the habit of escaping from the noise and listen to our intuition, our intuitive voice becomes stronger. But we have to make an effort. The more we trust it, the more it will tell us.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Your Intuition
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7 comments:
JUDGING - CONTROL - INTUITION
These are my 2 best friends and the friend I ignore. Like the saying goes, "with friends like these, who needs enemies?"
Isn't there something in Al-Anon about the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome?
My strongholds of judging and trying to control for outcomes (by trying to control my spouse) have lead nowhere insofar as making any difference in changing the unchangeable (him). It's only left me feeling like a failure. As I have claimed this "failure" message as my own, I have made my circle of true friends smaller and smaller (hiding in shame). I mostly isolate so no one will know the depth of my pain AND so I can keep up a (false) pride in the seemingly strong, accomplished persona.
I am ready to have God take my shortcomings from me and help ME to change. My intuition has always been to STOP and tell my husband that the status quo can no longer be, that I must leave and begin again in order to regain health and a future with stability, joy, lively conversation and options. More of the same and I will probably be dead in 10 years from a stroke or heart attack from the stress of LIVING A FALSE LIFE COMPLETELY AGAINST MY INTUITION. I've lived a life of ignoring my intuition.
I have to TRUST to follow it. That is one of my biggest fears. Maybe I don't really trust God (my HP) to work all of this out. I guess I am still trying to be my own God. In "Kath" I trust!
Here is the truth: I don't trust myself to go it alone, to be able to be on my own and have a life. I am dependent on others to define who I am and my life is defined by being a wife, mother, career person, extended family person - etc. I am not sure who I am without others, or "positions" to define me and give my life definition. I feel somewhat safe knowing who I am in my current state (even though it is an isolated and sometimes unhappy state). So the person who needs help here definitely is me.
I will keep plugged in in hopes of finding answers and the courage to change.
Thank you Joe and all others who share their experiences. I have found hope in this online blog and community.
P.S. Cell phones have off buttons!
I read your previous post just before this, and know that I struggle with control. I go to court tomorrow for visitation w/ my daughters father. Some of you know, he was abusive and is an alcoholic. I will do everything I can for him to NOT see her.
I struggle witht his. I want to prove he is still drinking, I have hired someone who hopefully can help me prove it. I hired an attorney, and I've prepared myself with documentation from the last 15 months. I struggled with "do I let go of control?"
No, not where this helpless little girl is concerned.
Thanks for this post. I needed to hear this. My gut keeps telling me I need to fight this, I need to protect her, even though I keep reaching dead ends, even though everyone keeps telling me they're going to let her see her dad.
Maybe I have also lost faith in my HP. I know I have. Maybe I need to give it back to my HP like I did the last time I was sitting in that courtroom. My HP gave me the strength and the words then, and he'll get us through this now. He'll keep my little girl safe. I need to trust in him.
I had also lived a life isolating myself. Nobody knew what I lived through--many people still don't know. But, each day I work on myself, I get stronger and wiser. Al-Anon allows us to share experiences. In the recovery, we find strength and hope from our higher power and others in the group.
Thank you all.
There is definitely something to this "intuition" business. I think of it as my conscience or god whispering to me.
The best way I have found to listen to my intuition is to keep a journal of my feelings about my situation. Also when the weather is nice, a 15-30 minute walk outside provides peace and quiet. Regular exercise is a must to be able to tune into intuition. If you are depressed, unfit and tired all the time, your body and mind are only focused on when the next round of sleep will begin. So you can't hear your heart's desire because you spend what little spare time you have sleeping and moping about things that you can not control.
I guess that's what alanon has done for me, helped me to understand I need to take care of myself (for me this means make regular exercise at a gym a priority) so I can quiet my mind and figure out what my heart's desire is. And....bonus...I look better and feel better about every aspect of life too. I still have problems but I am more able to "detach" and keep them in perspective.
Suzanne
Wow. Thanks Kath. Thank you Joe. I have been wanting to post the past couple of days but could not find the words. Kath spoke most of them for me. I have had the same thoughts, about how I do not want to stay in my current situation out of fear. Fear of being alone, of "wasting" the years spent in this relationship, that I somehow didn't try hard enough.
I am trying hard to listen to my intuition. It's really difficult, even when I do hear it, to BELIEVE in it. There are so many opposing voices, even if those are voices I create in my own head of the what-will-people-think variety.
Related to intuition--the listening to self--is listening to the universe/HP when it sends you a message. I feel like I keep getting them. I got one yesterday. I'll try to make it a short story, but apologies if it isn't. I feel like I have to tell it.
I went to a massage therapy appointment. I've been to this guy before, but I don't know him that well. Midway through the session his phone rings and he says, "I'm so sorry, I have to take this, my sister died yesterday, it's my other sister calling."
He gets off the phone and I try to offer him the chance to talk if he wants. I ask, Was it sudden? No, he said, She's been sick for some time now, with diabetes, bad kidneys, neuropathy, and now a kidney infection...she was suffering, it was a blessing.
I ask, Was she always diabetic?
He says, Well, no, she's an alcoholic.
She was around his age, which is 58.
I asked whether she was still drinking recently. He said, Well, I think she was sneaking.
I mean, I feel like all around me I'm being shown the future. My boyfriend's future, my future. It doesn't look good.
Thanks for letting me share.
A.T.
And I took so long writing this that now there's another post! a.j., I'm sending strength to you. You do know what you need to do and it sounds like you are doing it.
Good luck to you, tomorrow, AJ!
AJ - you have my best.
Joe
- Welcome Suzanne
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