What if you forgave everyone who has trespassed against you? Today? What if you forgave everyone, no matter what they did to you?
Why would we do this? Because, we hurt ourselves more, by carrying the resentment around with us.
In releasing everyone, how would that feel? What weights would be lifted off your shoulders?
So, what if you totally forgave everyone, today?
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Total Forgiveness
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6 comments:
It's best for me to look at what my role is in having the resentment and work on that. I've heard that only God can forgive others. I can forgive myself and treat others with kindness and consideration.
I can--and do, I hope--forgive and so don't feel overwhelmed with resentment. But I find that sadness often overwhelms me and almost paralyzes me in the same way that resentment could. I can let go of expectations, but not of hope, or, unfortunately, of fears. But the sadness of seeing a person ruined by alcoholism and of experiencing how it continues, despite my efforts to detach, to impact my feelings, is hard for me to get rid of.
Good Morning All,
I can forgive, it releases me of the resentment, anger, pain, and fear. I regain my power, rather than the power remaining with one or something that has hurt me.
I don't forget. It is a main tool in my arsonal that attempts to keep me from making the same mistakes, trusting untrusting people, attracting those that are un-available, or simply not right for me. It also reminds me of how and what role I played, and where my work needs to be focused.
Peace This Thursday.
KevinB
Carrying around the bitterness that comes from not forgiving requires a lot of energy on my part. It requires that I "keep track" and I find that my time and energy is better spent elsewhere. I do try, however, to avoid situations where new behavior occurs with the same people I have forgiven in the past that would once again require forgiveness. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. In other words if something happens which should require forgiveness on my part towards the same person for similar activity I think that I then wrestle with forgiving myself.
Sometimes forgiveness comes more easily than other times. I find that it is frustrating to have to forgive the same behaviors that my alcoholic husband repeats over and over again while intoxicated. Lately he doesn't even bother to apologize. It would be meaningless anyway since he just repeats his behavior...
Oh this, THIS to what anonymous at 3:07 said. I find it difficult but not impossible to forgive others, but most difficult to forgive myself. (for marrying and bringing into the world a child with a man, who though succesful in some areas, in hindsight obviously had a drinking problem) Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. This is why I will not have another child. I have been saying this frequently to myself for the last three years.
I had no experience whatsoever with anyone who was an alcoholic and did not know what I was looking at when it was before my eyes until my eyes were opened. I am horrified that some one might judge me and say I was "in denial" all along about my husband's problem. Nothing could be further from the truth. The perfectionist inside of me can not forgive myself for not seeing clearly before I had a child, what was going on all along.
I find it easier to forgive others because I accept that I have no control over what they decide to do. I find it difficult to forgive myself because I am responsible for my own actions.
Suzanne
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