Thursday, January 24, 2008

REMINDER: Weekend Al-Anon Meeting: Setting Boundaries

This Weekend's On-line Al-Anon Meeting is Going On Starting Friday night at 6PM - ALL WEEKEND long.

Topic: Setting Boundaries

Would someone like to comment here about boundaries and setting them? I will use this as the intro into our meeting this weekend. I did the last one. I don't want to be the "topic hog" . . .


Here's how our Al-Anon Meeting Online Weekend works (aka guidelines);

  1. On weekends we hold an on-line meeting.

  2. Someone suggests a topic on Thursday. First one who suggests the topic will be chosen.

  3. The Meeting starts at Friday 6PM Eastern. It will run through Sunday 6PM Eastern.

  4. I will set up the Topic before 6PM Eastern or right on time (depending where I may be)
    Anyone can join.

  5. Cross-talk is allowed (talking to each other; commenting about what others said, etc) . In fact it is encouraged!

  6. Of course, not evaluating each other negatively. Share the love and faith. Provide ENcouragement (give courage to others).

  7. You can discuss your feelings on the topic set for that weekend or you can talk about something else if you have it on your mind. And of course discuss a burning desire.

  8. Unlike Al-Anon meetings - You can eat will talking.

  9. Unlike Al-Anon meetings - You can comment MULTIPLE times

There may be people from across the US and in other countries around the world who may not have Al-Anon Meetings. This maybe a chance for you to attend a meeting to see what it is like. Of course, it will not have the same affect.


WM said...

When I started al-anon I thought I had set boundaries long ago but I was willing to take a look at it. Oh, yeah sure, I have boundaries.

After a while in the program I began feeling like my husband was stepping all over my boundaries. I wondered why this was happening. So I talked to my sponsor about it. She asked me what I do whenever my husband crosses the line. Wellll, what do you mean? How do you enforce your boundaries?

At this point I began to think about what I was doing when my boundaries were crossed. Reacting, losing my temper, yelling (again).

So I asked her for some suggestions on what to do. Since my husband and I are geographically separated at this point she told me I could politely end the conversation and give him a specific time when I would call him back. For now this seems to work but as with all things in an alcoholic marriage it may have to be adjusted later.

If we were living in the same house I would guess that going for a walk would be an option or just leaving the room would work too.

Thanks for the space Joe! If I could suggest a topic for a later meeting how about Alateen or the pamphlet about children.

Joe said...

Done deal wm. I think your topic is a great topic.

I am struggling with how to talk to my daughter about what is going on. My sponsor say he struggles too with his children.



Syd said...

I use several methods. 1) I take a break and walk away for about 5 minutes. 2) I indicate that I don't intend to participate in the current conversation (or argument) and 3) I keep my mouth shut and make no comment. All of these help me to not buy into someone else's anger.

Anonymous said...

Have to be honest, what ever boundaries I may have had 5 years ago, have been crushed to pieces.

Thus, I begin the re-building process, a day at a time, seeking clear understanding with myself first, and a peace at the end of each day.

I can be my best friend, and my own worst enemy.

Happy Friday my friend.


JB said...

Boundaries are a very important tool. They keep you sane (or as sane as you can be living with an alocholic!) They also let the alcoholic know that certain actions won't be tolerated. Someone once told me "if nothing changes, nothing changes" Setting boundaries means making changes. Changes bring about other changes.

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url said...

before alanon did not know what boundaries where lol it took me a while to understand my boundaries but what a freedom and selfworth i felt when i first took a few baby steps i took a giant leap lately what growth came out of that and peace in my heart grateful for everyone in alanon and very grateful for my higher power in my life

Michele said...

My husband has recently been diagnosed with alcoholism. He is currently attending AA, and it the process of looking for a sponsor. I am going to look into going to Al Anon. I am currently struggling with how I am to respond when I find him drinking. We will have a great day together and I look forward to a romantice evening, to become disappointed. This is very frustrating. Any suggestions? Thank you so much!

Michele said...

How do you access the meeting? Thank you!

Anonymous said...

What do you look for in a sponsor for AlAnon?