Sunday, December 23, 2007

The Codependency Anger Cycle - A Treadmill To Hell

As part of this series I have created what I call the "Cycle of Codependency and Anger" (below). It is a cycle linked to that of a treadmill. As codependents we "express" our transgressions in manners that can be unhealthy. Our outburst of anger feels "righteous" and our outburst is filled with "justice."

However, this "justice" and "righteousness" is only from our perspective. It is seen through the lens from which we are seeing the world.

Unfortunately, our world has become distorted. It is a sad world. No one knows the hurt, the shame and the trepasses we have endured in living with an alcoholic. The deceit and the lies and the feeling of guilt does hurt. Still - our world is not normal. Don't make it less normal!

With all that said, look at this diagram. Our lashing out, screaming, resorting to manipulation, and coercian has no affect on the alcoholic. As a friend told me, "It rolls off the alcoholic like water off a duck's back." And he is an attorney who has a friend he tried to "talk out of being an alcoholic." It just doesn't work. Same is said for trying to "get even" with the alcoholic.

You and I vent. It feels good . . . for a moment. Then we feel guilty! Look below and see if you can relate.

Then read my post - Part 2 on Codependency and Anger written this morning.

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