Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Not Personalizing Events

I am reading Eckhart Tolle's book "The New Earth" and it "meets" Al-Anon teachings in many ways. I would like to point out that I am rereading - perhaps - rerere-reading certain sections, because I am trying to learn how to detach from everything.

Yes. Everything.

What I mean by this is - I am not someone else, and I am not someone else's opinion, I am not my clothing, my job, my car, not my friends, and I not someone else's thoughts.

We all measure ourselves to a great degree, to how we are viewed by others. And hence we buy nice clothes, car, vacations, books, and so on - to perhaps not just live, but to "impress" upon others that we have "arrived."

Okay . . . maybe "We all . . . " is a cop out. The word here may be or should be; "I . . ."

Anyway, back to the point . . .

The person with detachment and a true sense of self does not react to any situation - good or bad - in terms of getting "involved" with his or her ego. They respond with "Is that so?" or "Interesting." Now this is not me. I am an enthusiastic, positive, optimist. Crazy about being optimistic. But, there is another issue here. I can become attached to what is good.

In Tolle's book he states the Master (of detachment or enlightenment) "allow(s) the form of the moment, good or bad, to be as it is and so does not become a participant of the human drama. To him there is only this moment and this moment is as it is. Events are not personalized. He is nobody's victim."

And here is another sentence that gets me; "He is so completely at one with what happens that what happens has no power over him anymore. Only if you resist what happens are you at the mercy of what happens, and world will determine you happiness and unhappiness."

Wow. Powerful. I want to be happy. I wanted to earn enough money to be happy all my life. Now I don't know how much is enough. I wanted a partner to help make me happy. No partner, no happiness? Or wrong partner, no happiness?

I am detaching. I am not vesting my "self" in things beyond what I can control. I am myself. And outside of me - is - well, not me. This is hard. For I still look for others acceptance of me as a measure of my self-worth. Interesting that I do this. I am learning and practicing this art of detachment and learning that the present and what I have control over is all that I have.


Anonymous said...

Powerful is an under statement....

Good stuff this morning, exactly what I needed...

Thank You!

Peace this Wed.


Anonymous said...

Live and let live, basically is what Tolle is reminding his readers. As soon as you try to control what's outside of yourself, you're the one being controlled. However, most people need other people. It's called being human and not fully matured in spirit. It's a process. It's never fully completed here on earth. We are created in God's image, but we are not God. We live in a fallen world. We don't have to fall with it like a robot,we can choose our behaviors. Our ego exists for a reason that our creator predetermined. Our ego is at the center of our life lessons and maturity. It should be celebrated and not numbed or detached from. Just disciplined with life's teachings.

Syd said...

I don't see how I can detach from everything in my life, but I can definitely let go of expectations. And I can be accepting of others as far as their opinions and choices. I read a New Earth and found it to be profound.
The egoic self is there for a reason but it is when it takes charge that there are problems. As long as I keep my expectations of another at bay, then the pain body doesn't come out. Awareness of the ego is where I am.

Anonymous said...

"All courage is a form of constancy." (from a "literary" novel I read sometime in the last year, I just can't remember which one)

What it all comes down to is the courage to be true to yourself all of the time, regardless of what others think. And both one's thoughts and actions have to be in alignment with this.

The word integrity has been a central theme for me in the past year. Doing the right thing even when no one is looking. Thinking about how I really want things to be, and having the courage to change the things I can.

Courage through the constancy of my thoughts and behaviors.