Monday, May 25, 2009

Fear - Mastery of,

This morning I am reminded that fear resides not outside me, but inside me. Fear is my reaction to my thoughts. Or my thinking about my thoughts of what "could be happening" or "could happen," but not necessarily what is happening.

The solution, I read, is not eliminating fear, but transcending fear.

Trying to eliminate fear is a trap. Trying to suppress my responses is also a trap. I need to become detached as an on-looker is; unbiased, non-judgmental, non-emotional, as if I were floating above the event watching it unfold.

Can I do this? How can I remember to do this?


The Albatross said...

the flip side of fear is faith... and yes you can do it one day at a time... by staying in the moment and being mindful of self care, and demonstrating humility, compassion and right relationship with others...

I'm not there... but I can get there... how? By doing what you do with anything you want to be good at... Practice, practice, practice... Hang tough Joe, I'm pulling for ya.

The Albatross said...

"I need to become detached as an on-looker is; unbiased, non-judgmental, non-emotional, as if I were floating above the event watching it unfold."

Sorry, doubled back to share about this... the fact of the matter is Joe, you're setting yourself up for disappointment if you are trying to turn yourself into stone. There are lots of red flags in that statement... how sad that you seem to be saying that to master fear you are misusing your self will to isolate yourself not only emotions but that you wish to think of yourself in the third person.

That my friend is DID behavior, and recently a friend has noticed that behavior in me as a result of PTSD/trauma. It is no party and certainly nothing to aspire to... hear me now and believe it.

For You... (Happy Memorial Day Joe and thank you for your willingness to be candid about where you are at... you're helping me see how I affected others and learn how to cope with the alcoholics that are still in my life.)

Controlling Versus Trust

There was a time in my life when I felt so afraid of and overwhelmed by the very act of living that I actually wanted to make out a schedule for each day of my life for the next five years. I wanted to include all the chores I had to do, when I would do them, even when I would schedule relaxation. I wanted to get some order into what felt overwhelming. I wanted to feel like I was in control.

Controlling is a direct response to our fear, panic, and sense of helplessness. It is a direct response to feeling overwhelmed, and to distrust.

We may not trust ourselves, our Higher Power, the Plan, the Universe, or the process of life. Instead of trusting, we revert to control.

We can approach this need to control by dealing with our fear. We deal with fear by trusting - ourselves, our Higher Power, the love and support of the Universe, the Plan, and this process we call life and recovery.

We can trust that when things don't work out the way we want, God has something better planned.

We can trust ourselves to get where we need to go, say what we need to say, do what we need to do, know what we need to know, be who we need to be, and become all we can become, when we are intended to do that, when we are ready, and when the time is right.

We can trust our Higher Power and the Universe to give us all the direction we need.

We can trust ourselves to listen, and respond, accordingly.

We can trust that all we need on this journey shall come to us. We will not get all we need for the entire journey today. We shall receive today's supplies today, and tomorrow's supplies tomorrow. We were never intended to carry supplies for the entire journey. The burden would be too heavy, and the way was intended to be light.

Trust in yourself. We do not have to plan, control, and schedule all things. The schedule and plan have been written. All we need to do is show up.

The way will become clear and the supplies will be amply and clearly provided, one day at a time.

Trust, my friend, in today.

Today, I will trust that I will receive all I need to get me through today. I will trust that the same shall happen tomorrow.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990,

Cindy said...

I've been grappling with this very thing! I think that was might suit me is to have the mindset that I'm "helping myself out" to go outside of myself and watch what I'm doing. Exactly as you say, "become detached as an on-looker...unbiased, non-judgemental, unemotional"....I imagined myself standing over my right shoulder watching but, like your 'floating" Waaaay better! Thanks!

Syd said...

I work on my fear by trusting in my HP that all will be okay. And reminding myself that I have no control over others. It comes down to turning my will and life over to the care of my HP.

Anonymous said...

Fear is anticipation of the next thing that you might be afraid of. Fear is "anticipation".
Living in the present moment is a powerful antidote to fear. Staying grounded in the present moment and practicing spirituality helps the condition of fear.

Anonymous said...

Also, whatiffing in a positive way instead of negative manner helps.