Friday, May 2, 2008

Al-Anon Slogan: "How Important Is This?"

A few nights ago at an Al-Anon meeting we all drew from a bag, Al-Anon slogans. I pulled "How Important Is This?"

This is strange, because I have been focusing on this slogan over the past several weeks. It has allowed me to detach more easily, and to make a decision as to whether to expend my energies on a certain issue with my qualifier. I found that repeating this slogan over and over during the course of a button-pushing discussion, I could immediately decide that if I would engage or fire a rejoinder (a remark, sarcasm, or try to convince), it would have no immediate or long-term benefit to me. And the "to me" part is something that is a little foreign in my mental make-up.

But to "stay the course . . ."

This slogan, ( "How Important Is This?"), is something I read about in management readings, something I read about waaaay before Al-Anon, that I knew about, but did not successfully implement or even at all execute.

Now, through Al-Anon, I have these slogans imprinted on my mind. Because of this, (imprinting), I am now able to recall certain slogans during hot times and put "space" between the button-pushing and my reaction or better my "non-reaction."

I used to think the slogans were trite. But how my opinion has changed.

"How important is it?" does not mean that I always back down. It has helped me set important boundaries - meaning, "what I will not allow or not accept."

I hope this helps you this morning.

8 comments:

Syd said...

This is one of my favorite slogans. Every time I get cranked up over something, I ask myself the question. And almost always, the answer is not very. The things that are trivial or just not worth the hassle are the ones that I let go.

Serenity girl said...

I love the slogans, there are some excellent one's.
I am also starting to find the steps useful..as the start they were just something I read but not that much help.
Now I am learning how they fit into my life.

Anonymous said...

"How Important Is This?" is the slogan I need to keep in the front of my mind right now. It's overwhelming to be dealing with issues related to being a child of alcoholics, married to an alcoholic, and the mother of an alcoholic.

"How Important Is This?" is keeping me from completely going crazy. It has helped me at least limit the mental time I spend on worry and obsession (notice I didn't say I am free of these particular afflictions yet), and can finally function somewhat again.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand.....

What you've been searching for forever is in your hand.....

How important is it?

Peace this Friday.

KevinB

Catherine said...

Agree -- this is a good one. For me, when I ask myself how important something is, it helps me refocus on myself. What DO I want from this particular argument? With that perspective I can usually what I ultimately want and need from a situation. Do I want that righteous feeling of pointing out where people have done things wrong (a bad habit and one of my super-shortcomings), or do I want peace and a clean bathroom?

TraceyBaby said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TraceyBaby said...

I have trouble relating to this one. Could it be because we don't have alot of bickering in my house most of the time? My son's attitude is pretty good. There are many errors in his judgement however. The "house" is pretty calm but I am not calm on the inside. This is what I am working on through Alanon. And the things that make me feel anxious feel very important to me. Maybe I am just not at that point yet.

Anonymous said...

I'm new to the Alanon concepts...way overdue. My concern with this slogan is that I'm just now waking up to the fact that it IS important. I've missed a lot of the important things that I feel I should have paid closer attenton to, stood up to, etc. I guess it's a learning process. I'll get there. So glad I discovered your blog. Very helpful.