Monday, August 11, 2008

Making Choices

You have the ability to change your life. Your life is a series of choices.

With recovery we find we can begin trusting our voices again. We can find that no matter what someone says and what messages from the outside world we receive, the only message we need in the one from our hearts.

We just need to tell our subconscious what we want. The subconscious in the creative part of the human mind. This is where we have stored all the past events - imagined and real - in our heads. This part of the mind cannot think for itself, it cannot tell itself what you want, but it can provide the insight and direction and the correct steps for you to take to bring desire into reality.

But you have to decide what it is you want. Another but. But you have to get clear thinking into your life first. I can speak to this directly. I did not have clear thinking when I was living with my qualifier. I could not break the spell of alcoholism - at least - not at first. I had to go to meetings - a lot of meetings - and get a sponsor -to get some clarity as to what I needed to do.

Back to the point of this post - you have to leverage, use and know that the subconscious in a storehouse and powerhouse for information to connect you to what it is you want. It can provide the answers and the guidance and the actions you need to take to get there.

But you have to decide. What is it you want? The power of choice is the critical step. You cannot sit around hoping. You have to decide what it is you desire. And you have to feed the subconscious with the picture of you in the image of reality getting whatever it is you desire.

Of course the blocking force is self-doubt. Self-doubt is your biggest enemy. It strives to keep you where you are and keeps you "little." The ego part of our minds does not want you to change. It wants to be fed. And it feeds on past inadequacies, mistakes, criticisms, and problems. These negative "events" replay themselves in the subconscious. And manifests in you as self-doubt.

Of course your desire has to "realistic," whatever that means. Here is the point to realistic, that self-doubt will be able to feed upon. If the desire is marry Brad Pitt, well, that is pretty much impossible. I am not Brad's type - as far as I know. And if your desire is to inherit a million dollars, well that might be pretty much impossible too, especially if your Aunts and Uncles don't have a million.

Do you see what I am saying? Does this make sense?

Having a goal of making $100,000 this year if you are making $80,000, may not be unrealistic. Having a goal of getting a new home in three years may be within the realm of possible. I think that's the right term - "the realm of possible."

Once you decide - and decide you must - the subconscious, once it is fed this goal or desire over and over and over - will begin to provide you with people, news, information, things, events and situations. It can provide you flashes of insight of things you can do, people you can call, places to go and so on. But it must have the knowledge that this is what you want.

If you do not choose - and this is equally as important - you will be subject to the whims and opinions of others. You will be essentially - stuck. Stuck where you are with what you have.

One more thing. And this is more important than knowing what you want, is knowing that what you don't want can and will manifest itself in your life too. If you dwell on fear and lack and limitation, of being poor, unhappy, being with crappy friends, and a crappy job, you will get exactly more of that in your life.

How? Simply this: you will look for - subconsciously - the crappy people to make you unhappy and miserable. They - the people and the events - will be attracted to you like a magnet, because of what has been fed into your subconscious.

How do I know this? I can see it in my own life when I play the tapes (or DVD in today's parlance) back. When I press rewind (fast reverse) I can see the events occurring and I can remember how I was feeling and behaving before the event. I have attracted good things - great things - into my life too.

It works like the sun coming up in the east and setting in the west. You can bank on it every single time.

So what is it you want? And if you want it so badly, what will it look like? If you feed your mind with what you what and provide a detailed picture of it, you will be drawn to this so powerfully, you won't be able to imagine.

Decide. Then trust. Listen to your inner voice. And in your heart you already know what you want. Just decide. It may mean giving something up. Isn't this true?


Syd said...

Joe, you are right about the choices. And many who live with alcoholism decide to make the choice of staying stuck. I'm grateful that I found Al-Anon, my sponsor and worked the steps to a different way of thinking. It really has helped my marriage and my life.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely believe that we must know we have a choice to stay or not. I personally struggle with that because my qualifier is basically a nice guy. Yest he has all the defects that come with the disease. The immaturity,the self-centerness,being miserable. Yes i do detach and have been so far doing good. Yet, there are many days that he is kind,loving and one of the best people I have ever meet. I realize i have my own issues but it is a one day at a time program. Tonight we went to an anniversary and he got to come to an Alanon anniversary.. It was great to see couples in both programs with together. I am so grateful for fellowship with this program. My journey hasnt been all bad because each of us has made progress. It isnt perfection it is progress. So we definitely have choices but thank God for my qualifier. I would have never got to meet or realize that alcohol affected me a long time ago as a child. Way before he ever came into my life. So i am growing as a person