Monday, August 25, 2008

Self Acceptance

Al-Anon; Self-Acceptance; Judging

In Al-Anon meetings, I rarely hear of anyone speaking on Self-Acceptance. I thought I would write this post about it and see if it makes sense and will help you. When I first read about self-acceptance and these words, I thought, "Wow. Very interesting . . . . Now I can put it to the test.

I believe judging yourself does not do you or anyone else any good. It only hurts and worse, it can wind up destroying yourself from the inside out.

One way to test - to see if you are judging yourself - is this;

Notice how you feel when you're in a group of people. Do you feel fragmented or do you feel complete?

By complete, I mean, do you feel whole? Of complete value? Or do you feel a little "less than?"

I am not saying that you should not act differently when you are at work, versus when you are with family or friends. We all have "roles" we have to play. I believe this is normal and frankly it would be hard to be the same way you are work as you are at home or with friends.

These are just roles. And we are not our roles.

Be aware of your behavior and how you feel in different situations.

Our Higher Power works through us and can make us feel complete and whole - because - I believe we are. And I believe we can be at peace and have serenity anytime and anyplace.


Syd said...

There are times when I feel complete around a group of people and then there are times that I just feel bored. I guess it depends on the group. I'm not much of a small talk guy. I'd rather talk one on one than do the "cocktail party" talk. But this is a great topic and one that would be good for a meeting topic.

newcomer said...

A good question, and the answer is yes, I've always felt "a little less than", but just lately I'm feeling a bit more relaxed in social situations related to work.

I seem to be more pleasant, whereas before, I judged myself so harshly that I assumed others were doing the same; therefore I avoided being sociable. The games we play in our heads!

I think alanon wisdom has been subtly doing it's work, because this adjustment of attitude is not something I have actively been working on improving.