Well, What The Heck Happened?

Well, some of you may have checked in and saw that I didn't post anything since Friday. Here's why . . .

I filed for the big D about a month and a half ago. I took a boundary, learned this boundary thing, and realized I was allowing boundaries to be crossed that I could no longer allow to be crossed. I learned this boundary thing at Al-Anon.

My boundary was . . .

I had to protect our daughter. She was incurring behaviors a child of 10 should not be allowed to have happen to her. We were both like boiling frogs. I know, I know. I refer to this boiling frog analogy over and over.

Since going to Al-Anon my thinking has become more clear. My thinking was distorted before Al-Anon. I was allowing me to become something less than me. I was sick. More importantly, and the ONLY reason why I filed, was my - our - daughter is being affected. Affected in health, mental well-being, sleep, school, friends and on and on. You know what I am talking about, if you have children or if you have lived as a child in such an environment.

She is the most beautiful person in the world and I owe it to her to have as much as a normal life as possible. This was the hardest decision I have had to make. For I am giving up a lot to do this, including two of the best in-laws one could possibly ask for.

I am not advocating the big D, by the way. The big D brings up a whole new set of problems and issues, especially in dealing with someone who is not mentally all there. Also, I believe in marriage. I love my wife. I feel compassion for her, although it is hard with the deceit, the foul language and the selfishness. I do feel sorry for her. But the boat is sinking. And there is a little child to focus on and get her off the boat.

I hope this wakes up my wife and hope that she sees how this behavior and such a terrible terrible disease is affecting her, her health, her mom's and dad's health, our daughter's health and forget about me - just the people who are around her. This action may bring the bottom up to her, so to speak. But I cannot be concerned with that right now, except I hope it does and she gets well.

I will continue with the blog of course. As I cannot leave Al-Anon, because I have found it very cathartic and the people there - warm and compassionate. I have found Al-Anon a way to live and a way to bounce ideas off people who can help because they have been where I have been. Also, I feel strongly about alcohol now. I don't ever, ever want to touch the crap again ever. I have seen the damage it has done. We all have.

Last . . . and here is where I am asking for help . . .

I am being deposed today - at 4PM eastern. I do not ask for much, but if you can pray for the protection of my daughter and your kindness to me for the opposing counsel will be out gunning for bear. The deposition will go from 4 to 6:30.

And pray for the judge at my preliminary hearing tomorrow morning. That starts (or should start around 9AM eastern). Pray that the judge has the wisdom to understand how the alcoholic will lie and cover up and be deceitful, just to be right. Pray that it will all work out in the end.

I may not be able to blog today or tomorrow. But stay tuned. And please post your comments and prayers and wisdom below. I need the help and support of you all!

Thanks!

your friend Joe