Thursday, July 17, 2008

Two Choices In Life and Only Two

About staying in the now. Staying in the present. Staying in my time-zone. In Al-Anon we learn to detach and we learn to not have our minds run into the future and run backwards in time. Our minds our great time travelers, and - even better soap opera stages! Our minds can take the simple and make it a disaster - if we allow it.

I am learning to detach. Closely related to detaching is gaining my purpose in the now. The present is where my purpose is. I have come to learn and say it is okay to have a goal - something I desire to achieve or have in the future, but I must work on the steps, the actions, the "to-do" list, if you will, that will allow me to achieve the goal or my desired outcome. I have learned that this is okay. As long as, and of course this is the catch - I stay in the present, working on, living in, the now, by doing and thinking about what I am doing - right now.

I am not sure how well I can explain this. But I am reconciling that all my past behaviors were not bad or keeping me from enjoying life. I am learning that I cannot get the future I want, that my Higher Power may have something better in store for me. I am learning however that I can set a goal, decide the steps I need to achieve the goal and then be present and work on the step in front of me. Aim for the goal. Be happy and just BE in the present with who we are, what we have, and where I am.

And here is the entire message or point of today's post. If you get nothing else from this post, please get this. And this was derived from my buddy, Dr. Robert Anthony (Beyond Positive Thinking).

We only have two choices in life.

We can be present and be happy with what we have (who we are, what we have, where we are)

- Or -

We can have anxiety, and think about the future or the past, and think about what we don't have (who we aren't, where we aren't).

5 comments:

FrannyGlass said...

Amen to that!

Anonymous said...

The "second" option is way, way too much work!

Peace this Thursday.

KevinB

Syd said...

I totally agree. I've been in the Now more with this sailing course than anytime in the past several weeks. It is focused concentration of the Now.

Anonymous said...

I am trying hard to detach, so your post is very helpful to me. At this moment, I have no idea where my alcoholic husband is. He's been gone for 3 days and 3 nights and I haven't a clue as to when he will come back. When he does return, I pray that I will not be resentful or angry and I can detach with love. My husband is a good and loving man but he has a devil on his back called alcoholism. Rationally, I get this but sometimes it's hard to take emotionally. I am trying to live in the present. I go to Al-Anon and read the Al-Anon literature and both are very helpful. Now finding this blog is another way to help me cope. I am also reading about alcoholism as my husband is the first alcoholic I've had to deal with in my entire life. Thanks for your posts. I've bookmarked the site and will keep coming back.

Catherine said...

Good luck to you, Anonymous! I live with an active drinker, too, and weekends are often full of surprises. I try not to let the absences and the BS ruin it. I make plans and I keep them (if I can). I don't ask where he was, although I'm definitely curious! I also made a decision not to answer the phone if he doesn't show up home because ~seriously~ I don't want the police or EMS or whomever to wake me up with bad news.