Wednesday, February 6, 2008

A Phone Call

Update 5:50PM Wednesday evening. Just left client's office. SLIGHTLY Revised

I am going to another meeting. It is my wife's Outpatient Rehab Program- it's Wednesday, so it's family night. My wife has never attended this family night program. I have. I have attended this religiously - every single Wednesday including the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and the Wednesday right after New Year's Day.

It's been about 12 weeks of Wednesday night meetings.
But it's supposed to be Family Night.
Where is your wife Joe?
She is MIA.
Why is this Joe?
I am not sure Sherlock. Why don't you answer that question?
May be she's too busy?
Nope. She doesn't cook Sherlock. We also have babysitters. (Not for us to go out however)
Geez, Joe what's it mean?


Why am I here? Alone? Again? Because I am an idiot. Maybe not. Maybe I want to get some guidance. Yep. That's it. Truly I do. But I do stick out like a sore thumb. No spouse. No body.

Anyway, so back at the ranch . . .
I received a phone call from her best friend today. She said, "So Joe, what's been going on? How are things going?"

I let her know what I thought. I told her somethings, that my wife had told her, but had subtley distorted to make me look like the bad guy. I should just say, "She lied." Subtley distorted, bull. I told her a different story that suddenly made sense to her. She didn't want to hear the truth and had to go - the phone was ringing from her children's school. Yeah right. The truth is hard to find wrong. Funny thing, that my wife was drinking a few weeks ago. But she forgot to mention that she picked up our 10 year old daughter and dog and drove her down to the store hitting curbs and sending dog across the car after making wild turns.

I could tell she was sniffing around. I guess someone reading this would say, "Sniffing around? Duh. Of course she was." Is this true? You think?

At the Family Meeting . . .
I am going to state how I feel tonight. I will not be labeled or made to feel bad or guilty. But i am not sure how I feel. I just want to leave - move on. Except I have a 10 year old.

See you later.


Anonymous said...

Hi Joe,
i am sory your wife does not go to family night with you. I hope you can find happiness within yourself. I hope we all can find a partner that appreciates us for all that we do and actually be an equal partnership.

kim said...


I hope your meeting goes well and brings you peace. You deserve it!

Joe said...

Thank you anonymous and Kim. We all deserve happiness and peace. I appreciate your thoughtfulness.


Anonymous said...

Hi there,
I really enjoy this blog. I have a question I am just beginning my journey and I just looked up some alanon meetings in my area what was it like your first meeting? Im a little intimidated.

Joe said...

I was a little apprehensive at first. There are some nice people there. Each group meeting is different. They have different "feels" to them. So the point is the first one may not fit your style. Best way to go in; is walk in. Find a seat. Sit down. Smile. (Smile is optional of course. Crying is allowed. As is anger or pent up resentment or lashing out. Laughing occurs soon after first 5 or 10 meetings).

Just go. No one tells that you were there. And everything you have experienced, they already have been there (and that is reallllly the wierd part).

Like I said - just go. You will meet house wives, executives, lawyers, unemployed, students, fathers, husbands, ...

The meeting is FOR YOU. And we all need a THING for us.


My best wishes to you - Joe

Catherine said...

@ Anonymous: Good luck with your journey. I'm a "newcomer" too. There were only 4 people at my first meeting and the whole thing was somewhat disappointing and a bit of a non-event. I think I expected it to be like a class or a speech. But afterward we went to a diner and they were very encouraging and nice. Different meetings have different "flavors," some are big and well organized, others small and kind of ad hoc, there are lunchtime ones people come from work, etc. They'll probably give you some pamphlets if you say you're a newcomer, but you don't have to if you don't want. Don't let the lingo or the corny slogans put you off. I have still only been to about 8 meetings but find a little something in each one. And to 2nd what Joe said, just placing yourself in that room is the key. THX