Accept the Day. Al-Anon teaches us to "accept" things - people, events, situations, etc. Accept to me means - don't resist and fight with what is. While I am tired of hearing the saying, "It is what it is." there is a lot of truth in it.
Accept the moment if it is bad. Don't react. Observe. Observe the issue - the situation, as if you are an unaffected bystander. Cultivate the attitude of; "Isn't this interesting?" Or, "I wonder what this is meant to teach me." Observe and stand back. You may see the meaning of detachment here. You are not the situation. You are not less than if you sense you are being verbally attacked. You are who you are and you are WHOLE, COMPLETE and PERFECT.
Many people want to say they are not perfect. But I say you are. Listen to your inner voice when you say "I am perfect." The voice may laugh or it may say, "No you're not." But you are!
Remember this - there is a creator of infinite intelligence - a Higher Power - or God - if you prefer - AND he/she made you as perfect. What he/she gave you, was supreme rein over your actions.
Based upon this truth - you are perfect - what you may do is NOT always perfect. Give up the fact that you have to do everything perfectly. Perfectly doing is an evaluation or judgment of the action or activity.
Just release and accept.
Maturity in this program or in life is not about doing something perfectly. It lies in accepting reality. Not wishing or hoping. Just accept where you are. And realize you can move from where you are to another spot - another new reality over time. And you have the will to decide what spot you want to move to. Where you decide - and that is key - you decide - may not be perfect based upon others' opinion of reality or their beliefs. But it is up to YOU! You decide!
What you may do is not perfect - whatever perfect is. Accept this when something goes less than what we expected or desired. Laugh at this when you do something you may be embarrassed about. Realize this too, what everyone else does is not perfect either. Behind the closed doors of a bank President may shock you. Behind the mask your boss wears to work may reveal his foibles or lack of confidence. It doesn't matter what their weaknesses are - except that realize we are all struggling and have our doubts and fears and that this is just part of life. Accept this. Accept the day and just say "I am going to do my best." That's it. Not "It's going to be perfect." For what is "perfect?"
Listen to your heart, feel your emotions, understand your reactions to events, and realize - that this just is. Listening to your feelings and reactions can reveal more about yourself and what perhaps you are not accepting, which may allow you to release whatever imperfection you have or belief you feel you need to live up to.
This "accepting" may help you understand what false beliefs you have accepted as true about you and the world, that are in truth, making you feel guilty, feel ignorant, or holding you back.
Accept - listen - and allow the truth to revealed to you about certain situations and just observe today.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Accept the Day
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7 comments:
Thank you for this. Very helpful this morning!
Observing and not reacting are important in my life. Thanks for another great post.
This gets confusing for me when I am observing something that is illegal and wrong/hurtful to my family. I can stand back and observe, but then feel the call to figure out an appropriate reaction. Do I force myself not to react and to live with things I find unacceptable?
Thanks.
I think the difference between observe is in observing our own reactions to otherwise unharmful or unhurtful events (physically or mentally). Often or sometimes we "over-react" to "slights" someone made or things we think about.
But - we have choices as well. We can set limits or boundaries on people's behavior to us or our children and sometimes themselves - in my opinion. Where we draw the line or say - "Enough" is clearly up to us. Because we are confused, and we may live in a "fog" becuase of the alcohol or drug abuse we may need to call in others to help us make the right decision. Talking to someone in the program and reasoning things out allows us to get help, draw boundaries (which are not idle threats), leave, or stay.
My advice to anyone in an abusive, or illegal situation, is to go to a church, a councillor, or to someone in the program to seek guidance. Neighbors and family are also helpful, but if they have not seen the effects of this disease they may think we are the ones who are blowing things out of proportion.
I know. I have been there. And I made my decision based upon what I needed to do
In certain circumstances, I have found that it is more damaging not to react than to react.
If it places me in jeopardy, or could be harmful to another, I have no problem shifting from observation, to a call of action.
At the same time, I find myself many times "over" reacting, and the post this morning made some very good points.
Peace this Wed.
KevinB
I've not been reading the posts daily but logged on today and how serendipitous that it's what I really needed after all that has happened today with the alcoholic in my life. He's put out with me for detaching with love as now I refuse to rescue him from the problems he's created because of his drinking. Thanks for your help once again!!!!
Accept the day and just say "I am going to do my best."
Sometimes I find it exhausting to try to do my best all of the time, both physically and emotionally. Do we really have to do our best all the time? Or am I confusing this with perfection?
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