Getting Unstuck - Part 2

Getting Unstuck - coming from Dr. Robert Anthony's book Beyond Positive Thinking. This is Part 2 about Getting Unstuck. In the previous post I mentioned that we are facing decisions in our lives sometimes that are challenging. And sometimes we get stuck. This is about seeing why we are stuck and hopefully leads us to getting unstuck.

This post, as did the previous post, comes from Dr. Robert Anthony; Chapter 5 "Writing Your Own Script" . . .

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Everything in life is a matter of choice. There are only two things we have no choice about. We cannot avoid these two things no matter how hard we try. The first is that we must die. Death is an absolute certainty. And the second thing we have no choice about is that we must live until we die. Now understand this - everything else in your life that you think you have to do, or are forced to do, is a choice.

You and I do everything because we choose to do it. We can't change the fact that we are going to die or that we must live until we die. But we can change anything else because everything else is a choice. Look at all the areas of your life and realize you do everything in your life because you choose to do it, not because you have to do it. Remember - the only two things you have no choice about is, you have to die, and you have to live until you die. Period!

Look at where you are in your life right now. Where you are is where you want to be. Consciously or unconsciously, you have made a choice. If you want to go anywhere, you must first understand here you are right now. Many people lie to themselves about where they are, and they deny their situation in life. But it is absolutely essential that you acknowledge where you are before you can move on. Is your life working the way you want it to? Are you where you would like to be? Do you have the things that you would like to have? If the answer to any of these questions is “no”, then take a look at your payoff for being where you are. What pleasure do you get out of denying yourself? What pleasure do you get out of being unhappy? What pleasure do you get out of being uncomfortable and not belonging? What pleasure do you get out of thinking in terms of lack and limitation?

It is important to remind yourself that everything that you do in life, whether it is positive or negative, is attached to a reward or a payoff. So look at your payoff. Observation is the first step in changing anything.

When you observe, you are taking the first step toward freedom. And as you observe, you begin to see your own patterns of thought. You have to tell the truth about where you are before you can move on. If you are in pain, admit it. If something is not working, admit it. This is the fundamental principle of Alcoholics Anonymous. You must first acknowledge that you are an alcoholic before you can recover from alcoholism. So look at where you are right now, and then decide where you want to go. Let your mind be open to new possibilities.

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Here are the words that strike me every time I read this chapter in the book;

• You and I do everything because we choose to do it.
• Where you are is where you want to be. Consciously or unconsciously, you have made a choice.
• Are you where you would like to be? Do you have the things that you would like to have? If the answer to any of these questions is “no”, then take a look at your payoff for being where you are.
• It is important to remind yourself that everything that you do in life, whether it is positive or negative, is attached to a reward or a payoff.
• So look at your payoff.

While the last line mentions Alcoholics Anonymous, it is not about AA or Al-Anon. The book is about the psychology of you. And that means showing you and me, how our thinking, how our present level of awareness, and our limiting thoughts (belief systems, mistaken certainties, religion, political views etc.) may be holding us in place - stuck. Because we DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER.

The book is about what I call, "relieving your mistaken certainties" from your growth potential. [I do mean "relieving" here]. Or, said another way, "How you may be holding yourself back?" The first step is realizing that you have things in your belief system that may be incorrect and these are holding you back.

These may come from religion, politics, what teacher told you, or your parents told you. Or you thought they told you. An example of this might be what your mother said to you when you were 5 years old may be playing in your head and may be wrong - but because you heard it - you are assuming it as being true.

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